This quote is from from Jane Austin’s novel – Emma (Volume 3, Chapter 7). It actually motivated me to finally set this blog up last week. It was too long to quote on twitter and might not have been appreciated by my limited number of facebook friends that are already married. I decided I’d finally set this blog up to further expand my thoughts in cyberspace and therefore appeal to anyone interested in my posts. Here is the quote…

It is only by seeing women in their own homes, among their own set, just as they always are, that you can form any just judgment. Short of that, it is all guess and luck— and will generally be ill-luck. How many a man has committed himself on a short acquaintance, and rued it all the rest of his life!”

I find the above statement deep and absolutely necessary for realists serious about marriage -

seeing women in their own homes, among their own set

Understanding the background of your bride-to-be is absolutely critical to fully understanding your bride. Understanding how she interacts with her parents and siblings enables you understand who she is and why she acts in certain ways. I am not just talking about a civilized dinner or lunch with her family, but (if possible) putting some time aside to stay with her family for a couple of days or a weekend to better understand the dynamics of her family and observe her interaction with its members.

This is an amazing quote on the consequences of not doing your research -

Short of that, it is all guess and luck— and will generally be ill-luck

Although I do not completely agree with the last sentence, a number of marriages run into ruin for the lack of understanding backgrounds. Many couples struggle to understand each other and their backgrounds through for a great part of their lifespan.

How many a man has committed himself on a short acquaintance, and rued it all the rest of his life!”

My thoughts above also apply to women looking for their husbands. Go further down what you see on the surface and further investigate what make him tick.

Read Jane Austin’s Emma here

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